As a mother of a large family I come up against tasks which i would rather not be doing- on an almost daily basis. Whether it be ploughing through the huge mountain of washing, unblocking blocked toilets or being a referee to my 6 wonderful children over which activity to do next. These are just trivial, you dig deep and get on with it because that is just what you have to do.
Tomorrow I have to face my fear 😦 I am absolutely petrified of hospitals. Our little girl who was born just 7 months ago has to go in for some corrective foot surgery. I gaze upon her large innocent blue eyes whilst she sits playing with her toy phone totally oblivious to what lies ahead tomorrow. The operation is necessary it will mean she can wear pretty little shoes and eventually join her sister dancing every week.
I can’t even pretend that it is the fear of the unknown. I have had a wealth of experience in hospitals due to my very accident prone eldest son and just last year we had a similar situation when he needed teeth out under a general anaesthetic. So the protocol for operations are very vivid in mind. I know what I am going to and what to expect. I don’t know whether it’s because she is a baby that makes it all so much worse. God what a wuss I am.
I am just hoping that our being in the recovery room does not result in a similar set of circumstances with me on a heart monitor beside her lol! Perhaps we shall pre -warn the staff.
It is hard to describe to someone exactly what having a fear of something is like. From the minute I got up this morning I have had the sweaty hand syndrome, butterflies in your tummy feeling and my emotions have been on their own personal roller coaster.
As her foot will be bandaged for quite some time tonight i plan to give her a lovely relaxing bath and try and calm myself down and prepare myself for the events of tomorrow.I count myself very lucky that as a family with so many children this is really the first major need for hospital treatment and regard my wee girl extremely lucky to live in a country where she shall get the treatment she needs at a hospital which reputation is brilliant. I still have her things to pack in her overnight bag (just in case) and a million other things to do for tomorrow. Keep us in your thoughts thanks XX